ORDER OF SPEECHES
AND TOASTS
1. Loyal
Toast— this toast, if it is to be drunk, is given by the Toastmaster or his nominee.
Many, in practice, do not now have it.
2. To
the Bride and Bridegroom— given by a person nominated-perhaps a family or friend.
3. The
bridegroom Replies-
(Many now end the toasts
and speeches here.) At the conclusion of his words the Bridegroom proposes the toast.. These
days Brides can make the speech.
4. To the bridesmaids
5. The best man Replies- and
reads the telegrams or cards. (At most receptions the toasts and speeches end here)
6. To
the Parents of the Bride
7. Father of Bride Replies
8. To the Parents of the Groom
9. Father of the Groom Replies
( This arrangement varies frequently these days. It is not uncommon
for a bride, bridesmaids or mother to reply to toasts either on behalf of, or as well
as, the males mentioned.)
10 The cutting of the Cake.
The
speeches, toasts, and cutting of the cake can take place any time. It
seems to me that they occur mostly…
(a)
Immediately after the wedding ceremony
(b)
After the main course at a formal wedding breakfast.
A toastmaster can contribute greatly to the smooth running of the reception,
so think carefully about who you ask to fill this role. As a couple you should
decided if you wish to have a formal breakfast with the speeches after the main meal or, the speeches before the meal or the
cake cutting.
The toastmaster will call the guests to
their seats when the meal is ready for serving. If grace is to be said and the minister is present,
he must be asked to say the grace. Including or omitting grace is a matter for the couple to talk
over, and maybe include the family in their decision.
When every one is seated,
the toastmaster should announce: “ Ladies and gentlemen. The Reverend Charles Jones will now say
grace.” If the minister is not present, grace might be said by the bride’s
father, by another member of the wedding party, or one of the guests. The
simple, well-known grace may be used:
“For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly
thankful”
Or: Bless O Lord, this food to our use and us to
thy service.
Other, more personal words may be used , e.g.:
“Thank you,
Lord, for this food before us, for the love of our families and for the love
of Joy and Peter on their wedding day.”
Or: “Bless this food, O Lord, as
you bless Joy and Peter on this happy day.”
It is not essential to have grace.
When ever the couple has decided to have
the speeches the toastmaster will formally call upon each of the speakers to propose the toasts.
The toastmaster can say
“ Ladies and gentlemen,
silence
please for the Bride’s father’( or close friend of the family or other family member)
The bride’s father,
first into bat, will thank everyone for coming to the wedding and say a few words of welcome to
his new son-in-law and little about his daughter. He concludes by proposing a toast to the health of the
bride and groom.
The groom will reply on behalf of his new bride and himself, (these day the bride can also
have her say) thanking the first speaker for the toast, the guests for coming to the wedding and for their
gifts. He may thank the best man for all his good deeds and present him with a small gift as a token of
thanks.
He concludes his speech by proposing a toast to the bridesmaids.
The best man will reply
on behalf of the brides-maids. He will congratulate the groom on his good luck and proceed to read the
telegrams (which he must check beforehand to weed out any dubious ones) or cards.
This I hope gives you an idea on how you
can structure the wedding breakfast and deals with a formal reception,, which may not be what you want.
Each speaker should be
announced briefly by the toastmaster or the best man.
First Toast
The
first toast is made by the giver-away (usually the bride’s father) who stands
and says a few words about the bride and groom before proposing the toast which is to the health of the bride and groom..
Reply to the First
Toast.
The groom responds on behalf of the bride
and himself. Then follows with
Second toast
Following
on, the groom proposes the toast to the bridesmaids.
Reply to the Second Toast.
The best man replies on behalf of the bridesmaids, gives a speech and reads
out any messages and
apologies.
If there are no bridesmaids,
the best man need not speak at all. It really is a matter of personal choice.
To conclude, the
best man announces the cutting of the cake.
No other speeches are made at formal weddings, but at more informal receptions
the bride herself is sometimes asked to say a few words.
A practiced and witty speaker may make a second proposal of health to the newly-weds but this
is fairly unusual.
The
Best man:
Don’t
above all panic when you are asked to be the best man, for some it colours their thoughts blue for weeks
before, it becomes an ordeal. Just remember very few people are practiced ‘after
dinner’ speakers. There is no need to worry as every speech maker is nervous. In
any case it is not that difficult to make a speech to an audience already warmed up by the happiness of the occasion.
Rest assured they don’t expect, or want, a long and important serious oratory!
They simply expect a few sincere and perhaps amusing words from speakers and the toasts so that they can get on with
really enjoying themselves.
It
should be remembered that the speeches are not the most important part of the wedding and if the speaker loses his nerve,
he need only say a few words of thanks, congratulations and good wishes.
The purpose of wedding
speeches are threefold: to congratulate the couple and wish them well in their future life together;
to thank appropriate people; and to propose a toast.
They occur after the meal and are usually followed by the cake – cutting ceremony.
Following each toast, all guests should stand, or sit to raise their glasses
Unless you are extremely accomplished in
delivering speeches on the spur of the moment, plans should be made in advance.
There are various ways of presenting a speech:
* Read the speech from
notes
* Recite the speech from memory
* Refer to brief “headline” notes which serve as
memory-joggers for previously studied text.
The first method is disastrous
in that the speech will sound like a public announcement, it will be unnatural and lacking in liveliness
and spontaneity. It also leaves little or no opportunity for mentioning unexpected events of the day.
Consequently,
it is not a good idea to write out the speech and read it word for word, since it will not come over well and will
put the audience to sleep in no time.
Similarly, if the speech is recited from memory, it too
is inflexible as it prohibits comment on some little incident of the day such as the flower girl and page boy not wanting to hold hands.
The speech can end up sounding like an audition.
The third method is a compromise, used by many public speakers,
and seems to produce the best results in that the speech will have shape and will include all the main points which
should not be forgotten. It is perhaps the best option for a wedding speech and also has the advantage
of giving the speakers something to do with his hands!
The cards should state the things that must be included, for
example:
* thank groom for the toast to the bridesmaids
* congratulations to the happy couple
* and now to the telegrams
*
and now to the cutting of the cake.
The things that should be said may then be added, perhaps the recollection
of an incident about the couple which would make an amusing story. This is a better idea than speaking
just on the Bridegroom as someone will feel duty bound to get up and say something about the Bride.
The cards can be held in front of you and can be flipped from the front to the back of
the pile during natural pauses ready for the next prompt. Cards are more manageable and do not flap
and crumple like paper.
It is probable that several drafts will be necessary until the wording and order take the shape
of a reasonable and structured speech. The first draft should be discarded for a few days-
a fresh reassessment will work wonders.
Remember there are certain things which nervous first time speakers do unconsciously and which
should be avoided at all costs as they distracts and irritate the audience:
*clinking loose change
or keys in pockets *mopping the face or brow with a handkerchief
*shuffling from one foot to the other as
if doing the cha-cha!
*rocking backwards and
forwards
* easing tie away from shirt collar as
if on trial for life.
The
best man’s speech needs to be lighter in tone than those of the bride’s father and the groom and should cover
the following:
1. Thank the groom for the toast on behalf of the bridesmaids and generally
add a few complimentary remarks of your own. Thank anyone who has helped you to do the job properly, or
anyone the bride has asked you to thank specially.
2. Offer your congratulations to the bride and groom and offer some thoughts
(hopes) for their future. These can be amusing but never of a
risqué nature. ( As you may have to face a irate mother of the bride or bridegroom)
You may add a story about how the couple first met or some suitable amusing anecdote. It is often useful
to use an amusing anecdote or quotation at this point to ensure the full attention of the audience.
3. You
may propose a toast to absent family or friends if important guests have been unable to attend the wedding.
4. Introduce and read
any telegrams from absent friends, remembering that there may be children and maiden aunts present.
(You should have vetted these beforehand and excluded any hint of vulgarity from the public recital.)
It is acceptable to group together several letters cards and telegrams which
convey the same wording, merely announcing the common message and the names of the senders.
5. Introduce the cutting
of the cake.
It’s a great compliment to be chosen as best man. So you want to play your part to
the fullest.
Choosing and Briefing the ushers
Organizing the stag-party
Getting
the groom to the wedding
Handing over the ring
at the wedding
Making a speech at the
reception
Wayne
Elcock belongs to Toastmasters and he is happy to help you: 03-383-0539
